It is two o'clock in the afternoon, and her feet make their way slowly up the stairway while her five and a half month old snuggles in a little closer. He lays his head upon her chest and listens. He listens to the heartbeat of the mother who loves him. And once again, he is at peace, for he knows that she delights in him.
Together they enter his tiny room where his crib sits firmly tucked against the wall. She holds him a little closer as she whispers into his ear, "It is time to rest my son; it is time to close those eyes and dream ever so sweetly." He knows that his mommy will not forget him while he sleeps, but that she will indeed watch over him so that he can rest securely. Again he lays his head down on her chest, and he listens. He listens to the voice of the mother whom he trusts. And once again, he is at peace, for he knows that she delights in him.
She places him in his crib, and shortly after he settles, he is looking up into her eyes as she returns his gaze. For a moment, his arms stretch upward as he reaches to touch her hair that has fallen out of the ponytail, once fresh in the early hours of the morning. She chuckles as his little fingers gently swipe her cheek, and then she asks him, " Shall we sing?"
He doesn't have to consider her question a moment longer, but instead, in excitement, his arms move rapidly up and down as he waits for the music to start and for her voice to utter its familiar melody. While she sings, he watches intently, sometimes trying to mimic the movement of her lips with his. And while he watches, he listens. He listens to the voice of the mother who sings over him. And once again, he is at peace, for he knows that she delights in him.
In this moment too, his mother is listening to her Savior. He again reminds her of how these cherished times with her son are ones on which she can refect. He says to her, "Oh my precious child. See how you cherish your son? You love him deeply, passionately, and tenderly. Your heart is filled emotions and feelings that you never knew existed. Yet as deep as your love goes, can you imagine how my love for you is that much greater? And not only do I love you, but I love to spend time with you as you gaze into my eyes and reach out to me. So, my precious child, take time to rest upon my chest and listen to the sweet songs that I sing over you. Be at peace once more, my beloved, for in you, I delight."
Dear Lord,
Thank you for your promise in Zephaniah 3:17, which says, "...He [the LORD] will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" (NIV). Thank you that you rejoice over me and that you truly do delight in me. Let my love for my son be an outpouring of the love that you have given me. And let me always be listening to the sweet songs that you sing.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Unafraid and Unashamed
Small hands with tender fingers stroking her face. Piercing blue eyes staring into those of the one who loves him. Arms outstretched and unashamed. It as if he says, "I am your beloved one." Oh, how beautiful and free.
It was a morning like any other, and maybe some would still consider it a normal day when all said and done, but for me, it was one that is forever etched in my heart and mind. Little did I know that one interaction would give me a new perspective on what it means to walk freely, forgiven.
Just as a stroked the last of the mascara on my eyelashes, the sounds of my sweet infant son could be heard from upstairs. As I made my way to him, my heart was again reminded of the tremendous gift that God had given to me by sending him into our lives. He truly was a miracle. Having found healing from a past eating disorder that had plagued my mind, body, and soul, I had spent the last few years desperately praying that I would be able to conceive. Pregnancy test after test, I became discouraged by the negative results again and again. Would I ever hold a child that had grown in my womb? Would I ever have the privilege of wiping little tears from rosebud cheeks? Would I ever feel the tender hands in mine as I listened to my little one utter simple, child-like prayers before bed? Yet God knew the deepest desire of my heart; He had not forgotten the cries that poured from my soul. And, in His perfect timing, he sent Stuart Raymond, His beautifully created one.
Now my little boy lay awake with anticipation in his eyes. The soft creaking of the floor was a familiar sound for him as I approached, ready to swoop him into my arms. Reaching his bedside, I stopped, and in that moment, our eyes locked. It seemed as if our hearts beat to the same rhythm. And then, in the next instant, my precious boy did something that I will never forget. Without reserve, shame, or fear, he reached with both of his hands and tenderly placed his hands on my cheeks, all the while, never losing eye contact with me. We were one. No one and nothing else mattered in that moment but our relationship. Our souls danced to the same song, never losing step with each other. In words spoken loudly from his heart, he said to me, "Mama, I am yours. Hold me, and let me rest my head upon your chest as I trust your love for me."
As I picked him up, I found myself reflecting upon that brief but powerful interaction with my precious Stuart. His heart knew that he could reach for me and that I would respond with unconditional love. He did not have to do anything to prove his worth or his value; rather, he trusted my sweet embrace. The Lord spoke to my heart saying, "Beloved child, I love you. You are mine. Come to me without reserve, without shame, without fear and let me feel your tender hands upon my cheeks. Let me wipe your tears. Let me hold you as you rest upon my chest. I am your loving Savior who will not reject you in your messes, your hurts, your failures, or your pain. Rather, I stand here with open arms ready to swoop you up and carry you through it all. I am full of grace. I am the Lover of your soul, the One who has paid for every one of your sins through my shed blood on the cross. You are forgiven, child. Oh, how beautiful and free.
"Lord, thank you for what you are teaching me through my child. You indeed, are the lover of my soul. You are the one that has forgiven me. Help me to come to you as a child today, unashamed. I want to trust your grace."
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
It was a morning like any other, and maybe some would still consider it a normal day when all said and done, but for me, it was one that is forever etched in my heart and mind. Little did I know that one interaction would give me a new perspective on what it means to walk freely, forgiven.
Just as a stroked the last of the mascara on my eyelashes, the sounds of my sweet infant son could be heard from upstairs. As I made my way to him, my heart was again reminded of the tremendous gift that God had given to me by sending him into our lives. He truly was a miracle. Having found healing from a past eating disorder that had plagued my mind, body, and soul, I had spent the last few years desperately praying that I would be able to conceive. Pregnancy test after test, I became discouraged by the negative results again and again. Would I ever hold a child that had grown in my womb? Would I ever have the privilege of wiping little tears from rosebud cheeks? Would I ever feel the tender hands in mine as I listened to my little one utter simple, child-like prayers before bed? Yet God knew the deepest desire of my heart; He had not forgotten the cries that poured from my soul. And, in His perfect timing, he sent Stuart Raymond, His beautifully created one.
Now my little boy lay awake with anticipation in his eyes. The soft creaking of the floor was a familiar sound for him as I approached, ready to swoop him into my arms. Reaching his bedside, I stopped, and in that moment, our eyes locked. It seemed as if our hearts beat to the same rhythm. And then, in the next instant, my precious boy did something that I will never forget. Without reserve, shame, or fear, he reached with both of his hands and tenderly placed his hands on my cheeks, all the while, never losing eye contact with me. We were one. No one and nothing else mattered in that moment but our relationship. Our souls danced to the same song, never losing step with each other. In words spoken loudly from his heart, he said to me, "Mama, I am yours. Hold me, and let me rest my head upon your chest as I trust your love for me."
As I picked him up, I found myself reflecting upon that brief but powerful interaction with my precious Stuart. His heart knew that he could reach for me and that I would respond with unconditional love. He did not have to do anything to prove his worth or his value; rather, he trusted my sweet embrace. The Lord spoke to my heart saying, "Beloved child, I love you. You are mine. Come to me without reserve, without shame, without fear and let me feel your tender hands upon my cheeks. Let me wipe your tears. Let me hold you as you rest upon my chest. I am your loving Savior who will not reject you in your messes, your hurts, your failures, or your pain. Rather, I stand here with open arms ready to swoop you up and carry you through it all. I am full of grace. I am the Lover of your soul, the One who has paid for every one of your sins through my shed blood on the cross. You are forgiven, child. Oh, how beautiful and free.
"Lord, thank you for what you are teaching me through my child. You indeed, are the lover of my soul. You are the one that has forgiven me. Help me to come to you as a child today, unashamed. I want to trust your grace."
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
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